Mind your manners

Most people who takes flight just want to get from destination A to B and don't really care about the things in between that or the people involved in the process. Have you ever wondered that if you were that great, why not fly the plane yourself? And land it wherever you want to be and be done with it? So if you don't happen to own a plane, can't fly the plane and need people to serve you food 35000 ft above the air, mind your manners and be a good citizen/flyer/human being. You catch my drift~

I'm going point form hereon for easy reading.

• if you want to bring a bag that is not approved by the airline r&r and it weights like a tonnes of bricks, please put your own bag onto the overhead compartment. don't expect the crew to do it. fyi, not our job :)
• if you can't eat certain food like you're allergic to all the food in the world, please pre-book your special meal. crew are not mind readers and we certainly am not a magician. crew cannot i repeat cannot conjure food outta thin air. and do not scream at us for leaving you with no choice. you do have a choice. either eat it or don't.
  
• if you can't hold your drink. refrain from ordering alcohol from the crew. i know it's free. doesn't mean you have to take it. and if you need to vomit, please do aim your vomitus into the toilet bowl and not the sink. sink is for washing your hands. i'm sure you don't vomit into the sink at home unless it's a special made sink for vomiting then by all means go ahead. have a blast!

Well, unless you have this sink at home, then by all means enjoy the vomit experience.

• if you need to use the loo, please lock the door. i know that sharing is caring but too much sharing is not a good thing.
  
• if you need to make a phone call, please don't have to shout until the whole cabin can hear you. i'm sure that you're a big time businessman. we simply dun give a F&*( and if the announcement have been made that all electronic devices to be switched off please comply. i'm sure you're not deaf.
  
• if you demand for a newspaper and we don't have anymore left. it means that we really have none left. it is a complimentary reading material onboard. so if you happen to have a copy please don't bring it outta the aircraft with you coz it not yours. and don't get upset just coz you came in late and there's no newspaper left. if you're so desperate for it. here's RM2 take it and buy yourself a copy compliment from yours truly.
• this is especially for cheapskate business class passenger. don't ask me for anymore teh tarik packets, the whole packet of peanuts and milo for you to bring down with the excuse your grandson, godmother, father, mother, neighbour, aunty and the whole village likes it. if you are cheapskate, just admit that you are one and i'll happily give it to you.
• if you think that crew are cheap sluts, you are so wrong. just becoz we're in uniform and work up in the air, we're not airheads and easy. being sleazy doesn't pay. being nice and have good manners are added points.
• don't tell the crew you're a doctor and expect and upgrade to business class and first class. if you have the money and need the comfort of the bigger seat PAY! we are not obligated to upgrade you and we can't so bye bye~
  
• don't ask us to ask another passenger to shut up. we are not voice controller. if you have a problem with the loquacious passenger, just tell them off yourself. after all, you both paid for the flight tickets therefore you both have equal rights to tell each other off. however, if you make too much of a scene, the crew have no problem restraining you. so sit quietly and mind your own business.
• if you have a baby travelling with you, and require a bassinet. make sure that your baby is placed inside the bassinet and properly strapped in as per the crew's instruction. i'm sure that you don't want your baby to be a "pan-baby" when turbulence hits the aircraft. a bloody mess is not a nice scene. if you cherish your child's life, you know what to do.
• when a crew asks you what is your choice of meal, just answer what you want. nodding your head doesn't help. as i've said before, we are not mind readers.
  
• when a meal is served, please have the decency to open up the table and don't fold your arms. i'm sure you are not a retard. even a retard will know what to do.
• when the crew tells you what is served today please pay attention. don't look elsewhere and when the person next to you is served the meal only you turn around and ask again what is served. we are only human and at every sectors of flight we have to repeat & repeat the same god damn thing. we are also not your personal maid.
• don't take your f&*(ing own sweet time to think of what you want to eat. the rest of the world are hungry too. they need food. unless you're in a hotel or restaurant you may take your time. and all aircraft food are the same. it's not healthy and it's not fresh. if you want fresh food, bring your own!
  
• don't ask,"is this orange juice freshly squeezed?" coz i'll answer you this," yes, it is freshly squeezed from the box i got from the galley"
• do not attempt conversation with crew while they are eating in the galley, coz you won't ever get a proper answer or attention. we need food. let us eat and we'll come and entertain until landing time.
• do not make a mess of the toilet when you use it coz you were toilet trained as a child. i'm sure you don't mess up your toilet at home coz you have to clean it yourself.
• do not keep pressing the call button if you don't really need anything. when someone else is really in an emergency situation, we might ignore it and that person might die and you are to be blamed for it. comprende?
• do not ask stupid question like," is it free seating?" when you know that it's not and your seat number is clearly printed onto your boarding pass. i'm sure that you're not dumb. if you wish for free seating, please feel free to travel other airlines that have free seating. even the cinema have seat numbers, so don't try our patience.
  
• do not compare us with other airlines. if you love the other airlines so much, please feel free to travel with them. if you choose to travel with XYZ airline, live with it!

That's all for now. When I can think of anymore nonsense I shall write about it.