Crossroads

I met up with my high school friend Ms JL the other day and we started talking about life and its turning points. She said that when a person comes to a certain age, things start to change for better or worse. It depends on your luck and stuff. Hers started 2 years earlier than expected. And it was a good lesson to be learnt. I think that she's a really strong person.

For me, my turning point will be this year, aged 30. Why do I say this? I might be unemployed by December this year as my 5 years contract with the company is coming to an end. Even with positive thinking, I don't think my contract will be renewed. It is due to many factors namely my age and my medical records. I do not blame them, it's part and parcel of life. And who I am. I am sick all the time. Money can't buy health.

Besides that, I am still clueless as to what I want to do with my life. Should I have my wedding ceremony? Should I change job? Should I get pregnant? Should I apply for another cabin crew job? I don't fucking know. I wish I do then it will make things clearer. I have always been someone who's clear on what I want to do or what I don't want to do. I don't like bullshit and wasting time.

And now I understand the meaning of crossroads. Indecisiveness and unsure of what the next step is. Too many pros and cons to be considered. Sooner rather than later, a choice have to be made. For now, I choose to relax and go with the flow. Too much stressing will only caused wrinkles. And wrinkles are something that are difficult to get rid of.

I choose to live in the moment and be happy. Who cares? Til I am truly desperate~