Verbal Diarrhea

When I was 18, I always had this dream that by 30 I'll be rich and fabulous. I will not need a man to support me financially but more of an accessory(eye candy). I'll have the most fabulous party ever at the hottest club in town with all my closest friends.

But alas.....

30 is coming in a couple of days and I am not rich but I am absolutely fabulous (in my own fantasy lar). I no longer have the urge to club or drink. I can't believe that I'm gonna say this but clubs give me headache and it's a waste of money. If I have to drink, I prefer to pay for duty free alcohol coz it's cheaper and there's plenty to drink without feeling the pinch in the wallet. (am i even using this correctly? but then again who cares?)

The important things in my life now :

1. I have a place to live
2. I still have a job. Gonna be jobless soon :)
3. I have good & level headed friends to keep me sane
4. I have a husband who sometimes loves me for who I am & hates me every other day :)
5. My family members are mostly supportive of the things that I do
6. Facebook is not banned in Malaysia
7. Indy is old. If he has to go, I hope that he don't have to suffer and go peacefully. If given a choice, I want him to live forever.
8. Contemplating whether to buy a dog as companion or not
9. Wants something from Burberry, Gucci & Hermes badly
10. World peace

I've been suffering from sleepless nights for the past couple of nights leading up to my big day. Is it pure anxiety or is age catching up with me? Old people needs less sleep. And I feel like an old cow.

Nonsense Paranoia

#1 taking sleeping pills on a flight. what if there was an emergency and you can't wake up from it. you die!
#2 taking a dump in public toilets. your butt crack is exposed to all kinds of germs. you  might not die but your  butt might be infected by bacteria of all nature. you seriously dun wanna go there
#3 talking on your cell phone during a thunderstorm. you might not die but your ears might be fried!
#4 walking while texting. you might fall into a longkang and seriously hurt yourself
#5 driving on wet roads, brakes might jam & you might crashed into the car in front of you.
#6 drink too much water & it might get into your lungs and you might collapse & die.
#7 cutting veg at home alone. accidentally cut yourself, faint and bleed to death.
#8 ate too much fast food coz ur lazy and it might clog up your arteries and die.

Dreams do come true

It is not too old to realise our dreams. Why have regrets in life? You only live once, so why not live life to the max? Do things that makes you happy eventhough they whole world thinks that you're a dumb ass. Who are they to tell you what you should and shouldn't do? Why make yourself miserable all the time.

Someone once told me that anything can happen with positive thinking. The mind is a powerful tool if you dare to use it. Or remembers that you actually have one. She told me that her mom was battling brain tumour at the age of 70 plus. She had it remove and with a positive mindset, she is now a chirpy old bird. Happy with her life and her grandchildren.

If you keep telling yourself that you can't do this and that I betcha you will not be able to do anything with your life. It will be stagnant and you will forever be the loser that you are.

The epitome of positive thinking and realising your dreams comes in the form of a good friend of mine. Ms CAV believes in herself and do what she loves most. She told me once that she kept telling herself that she will see a rare sea creature ( i forgot the name of it coz i'm truly bad with it) on a diving trip and she did! No regrets and she went home happy. Apparently, it is one of the season diver's must-see sea creature and they've dived for many years and have never glimpse on one before. So I am truly happy for her.

Stay positive and good things will come your way.

Road runners

I'm proud to say that I am an ethical driver. I do not drive too slow or too fast. I always let people pass through if they want to. And when my mood says, "YES". Anyway, I've noticed a few times of drivers on the road in Malaysia and sometimes you just want to slap them.

Mother with children
They tend to drive big ass car and do not know how to manoeuvre the damn thing. They tend to cut in front of other vehicles just coz they are with child. They also like to double park and take their own sweet time to get into their car if someone honk them for attention to move their vehicle away.

Young man with spectacles
Their driving skills are as horrible as their looks. No offense to guys with spectacles but this is what I've noticed. They tend not to know how to drive. They either drive too slow or too fast and dangerously. Is it caused by their glasses? Is it in the way?

Modified local car drivers
Yes, I know you don't like the original general car specifications and you spent a lot of money modifying it. But have some manners when you're driving your lean mean machine. They go really close to other cars and just cut in front. WTF is wrong with you people? Not everyone in this world are car racer ok? Some are cautious drivers. You want to die, other people don't ok?

Overly cautious drivers
Some of them are so damn careful and drive so slowly they causes accidents to other vehicles. The road sign says 80km/hr not 30km/hr so drive as per the road sign. And there are a lot of cars behind you that are using the road too.


Bitches that don't let you pass
Some woman drivers are really shit heads. I really don't know what's going through their mind. When there is a traffic jam it's caused by them. You need to let other people pass through you coz if not, the jam will be worst. The thing is this let 1 car from each lane go once that way the traffic will be smoother and everyone can go home happily. By not letting other cars pass through doesn't mean that you will get home any earlier than them ok? Comprende?

Mind your manners

Most people who takes flight just want to get from destination A to B and don't really care about the things in between that or the people involved in the process. Have you ever wondered that if you were that great, why not fly the plane yourself? And land it wherever you want to be and be done with it? So if you don't happen to own a plane, can't fly the plane and need people to serve you food 35000 ft above the air, mind your manners and be a good citizen/flyer/human being. You catch my drift~

I'm going point form hereon for easy reading.

• if you want to bring a bag that is not approved by the airline r&r and it weights like a tonnes of bricks, please put your own bag onto the overhead compartment. don't expect the crew to do it. fyi, not our job :)
• if you can't eat certain food like you're allergic to all the food in the world, please pre-book your special meal. crew are not mind readers and we certainly am not a magician. crew cannot i repeat cannot conjure food outta thin air. and do not scream at us for leaving you with no choice. you do have a choice. either eat it or don't.
  
• if you can't hold your drink. refrain from ordering alcohol from the crew. i know it's free. doesn't mean you have to take it. and if you need to vomit, please do aim your vomitus into the toilet bowl and not the sink. sink is for washing your hands. i'm sure you don't vomit into the sink at home unless it's a special made sink for vomiting then by all means go ahead. have a blast!

Well, unless you have this sink at home, then by all means enjoy the vomit experience.

• if you need to use the loo, please lock the door. i know that sharing is caring but too much sharing is not a good thing.
  
• if you need to make a phone call, please don't have to shout until the whole cabin can hear you. i'm sure that you're a big time businessman. we simply dun give a F&*( and if the announcement have been made that all electronic devices to be switched off please comply. i'm sure you're not deaf.
  
• if you demand for a newspaper and we don't have anymore left. it means that we really have none left. it is a complimentary reading material onboard. so if you happen to have a copy please don't bring it outta the aircraft with you coz it not yours. and don't get upset just coz you came in late and there's no newspaper left. if you're so desperate for it. here's RM2 take it and buy yourself a copy compliment from yours truly.
• this is especially for cheapskate business class passenger. don't ask me for anymore teh tarik packets, the whole packet of peanuts and milo for you to bring down with the excuse your grandson, godmother, father, mother, neighbour, aunty and the whole village likes it. if you are cheapskate, just admit that you are one and i'll happily give it to you.
• if you think that crew are cheap sluts, you are so wrong. just becoz we're in uniform and work up in the air, we're not airheads and easy. being sleazy doesn't pay. being nice and have good manners are added points.
• don't tell the crew you're a doctor and expect and upgrade to business class and first class. if you have the money and need the comfort of the bigger seat PAY! we are not obligated to upgrade you and we can't so bye bye~
  
• don't ask us to ask another passenger to shut up. we are not voice controller. if you have a problem with the loquacious passenger, just tell them off yourself. after all, you both paid for the flight tickets therefore you both have equal rights to tell each other off. however, if you make too much of a scene, the crew have no problem restraining you. so sit quietly and mind your own business.
• if you have a baby travelling with you, and require a bassinet. make sure that your baby is placed inside the bassinet and properly strapped in as per the crew's instruction. i'm sure that you don't want your baby to be a "pan-baby" when turbulence hits the aircraft. a bloody mess is not a nice scene. if you cherish your child's life, you know what to do.
• when a crew asks you what is your choice of meal, just answer what you want. nodding your head doesn't help. as i've said before, we are not mind readers.
  
• when a meal is served, please have the decency to open up the table and don't fold your arms. i'm sure you are not a retard. even a retard will know what to do.
• when the crew tells you what is served today please pay attention. don't look elsewhere and when the person next to you is served the meal only you turn around and ask again what is served. we are only human and at every sectors of flight we have to repeat & repeat the same god damn thing. we are also not your personal maid.
• don't take your f&*(ing own sweet time to think of what you want to eat. the rest of the world are hungry too. they need food. unless you're in a hotel or restaurant you may take your time. and all aircraft food are the same. it's not healthy and it's not fresh. if you want fresh food, bring your own!
  
• don't ask,"is this orange juice freshly squeezed?" coz i'll answer you this," yes, it is freshly squeezed from the box i got from the galley"
• do not attempt conversation with crew while they are eating in the galley, coz you won't ever get a proper answer or attention. we need food. let us eat and we'll come and entertain until landing time.
• do not make a mess of the toilet when you use it coz you were toilet trained as a child. i'm sure you don't mess up your toilet at home coz you have to clean it yourself.
• do not keep pressing the call button if you don't really need anything. when someone else is really in an emergency situation, we might ignore it and that person might die and you are to be blamed for it. comprende?
• do not ask stupid question like," is it free seating?" when you know that it's not and your seat number is clearly printed onto your boarding pass. i'm sure that you're not dumb. if you wish for free seating, please feel free to travel other airlines that have free seating. even the cinema have seat numbers, so don't try our patience.
  
• do not compare us with other airlines. if you love the other airlines so much, please feel free to travel with them. if you choose to travel with XYZ airline, live with it!

That's all for now. When I can think of anymore nonsense I shall write about it.